Ello sparkles !!When I was little every day was a great day. I woke up late ….studied if I wanted to …ate what I want …got what I wanted. Being the first girl in the family came with its privileges. A few years after that my biggest problem was not doing my homework or not liking what’s for lunch. Fast forward a bit and then being teased was the trouble of the day. Then I lost my brother in an accident and things were mundane.
A few years later NOW my biggest problems are getting the best grades in a test, the weights on the scale …what my friends think about me … and constantly trying to be my best. But the conclusion is that the problems changed everyday , every month , every year. And I’m still alive
I’m still breathing and 90% of my days are happy days. There are days when I feel in the dumps. When everything about everyone seems wrong but if I could get through all of it for 17 years surely I could do so for the rest of my life ,right ?
I cannot believe that it took me so long to realise that it was OK to have a bad day. It was OK to feel completely useless. It was OK to fight with the people you love cause they are not going anywhere.
Anxiety…Jitters and tears were a part of life and getting it out once in a while is OK. There will be days when I feel so good. In my own little corner but the next day might be the absolute worst. And that was OK
So next time when you have a bad day …when anxiety strikes or panic breaks remember that You are OK. You are still alive after so many trials so this new problem is just an older one with a changed tag.
Having a bad day is a gentle reminder that the sparkle around you is getting over and it’s time for you to surround yourself with some inner sunshine
All the love
Ello lil sparkles !!
All my life I have heard people talk about a physical quantity….you know something that can be measured…calculated…added …defined. But most often this physical quantity is judged. Velocity…distance …time is directly proportional to a lot of things but being a physics student I have never heard that weight is directly proportional to beauty.
Growing up being a chubby kid had always been hard. My friends …mates …colleagues…relatives heck even my parents never really thought that my size was a beautiful one. Family dinners and parties were filled with old people giving me DIY tips or gym numbers. Trainers that had made a difference before.
Even today people keep telling me that I’m curvy , for gods sake I know. I own a mirror and I love the reflection I see. My parents and relatives tell me to eat less or comment on my choices as if not eating a slice of pizza was going to make me happy. Lol
I failed to understand how or why being chubby and curvy when I was 5 and 6 was cute but when I’m 17 it’s obscene. I have tried numerous diets and countless ways but I was never taught to be happy in my own skin. My best friends are really skinny and they are so beautiful for me but they think I’m beautiful too even though I’m a few sizes extra and a few kgs over. I’m not unhealthy I don’t have health issues …then how does being curvy stop me from being beautiful.
I think it’s time for people to stop being crazy about size 0 cause I’m sure you can feel a perfect 💯 even if your a size 10. Last year I lost a few pounds. And I did that cause I thought it would be better for me so for people who asked me if I did it for a guy or if I was disgusted with myself the answer is NO.
If you think you need a change , do it for yourselves cause I think beauty comes in all sizes be it a zero or a hundred. And why should we let numbers define our infinite potential? So let me sparkle in my own size and let my fellow mates breathe in their own body!!
Lots of love
Ola My lil sparkles !!
Today as I write this post sitting in bed tears threatening to spill I think about the efforts. The ones that I have been making ,the ones that I chose not to make.
I think efforts co relate with decisions. If you decide to do something then to put it through you need to put some love , sweat and sparkle into it. 2 years back I made a decision to become a doctor. Next year this time I’ll be counting the days to write my Med School Entrance Exam. Ya gives me the creeps.
I knew it was gonna be tough. Heck it’s a lot tougher than I thought it would be. But the studies is not the hardest part of it. It’s the demotivation. That I get when my efforts are not recognised or they are not fruitful. When I spend sleepless nights studying on a test and then the results are not as good as I want them to be. And then my professors tell me that I have immense capacity I just need to work a bit more.
It kinda blows my mind away. But today I realised something. These efforts that I make might be enough for me but not enough for my future. Like a long time investment I’ll reap its benefits after a few years. When I’ll be earning a good living and being unconditionally happy.
So what I have decided from know on is I’ll put in the efforts. Maybe more than before and stop worrying about the outcome. I’ll always know that I tried and who knows in the near future these unnoticeable efforts will sparkle my life.
Love yourself and your dreams